One lazy morning, as you and I snuggled in bed, I whispered to you, “Sam, do you ever see your angels or guides around you?” Startled by such a question, you quickly replied, “No!” “How about God, do you ever feel God’s presence deep inside you?” Your eyes softened and with such tenderness you looked at me and said, “When I’m with you, Mommy.” Then you snuggled in closer and hugging my arm you whispered, “You’re God, Mommy.”
Energy rushed through me and before thinking I blurted out, “Oh no, Sam. God loves you even more than I do.” Shaking your head back and forth you replied “That’s not possible, Mom.”
My heart almost burst with love for you. “Oh, Sam, you are right. I love you so, so much. How could God possibly love you any more than I do? It is not possible. But God’s love is more pure. Sometimes I get impatient with you or I get intolerant or frustrated. Sometimes, I growl at you and get cranky. Sometimes I get distracted and forget to take you in. I forget to listen and be present to you. God doesn’t, Sam. God is always present, always loving and always delighting in you just the way you are. “
I could barely breathe as we finished our conversation. I lay their holding you in my arms overwhelmed by the deep realization that as your parent, I am your first experience of the divine. How I parent you will forever color how you relate to God. My deep prayer became that I would introduce you to a God who is loving, warm, compassionate, forgiving, fun, creative, spontaneous and loving. I wanted you to know a God who would allow you to make you own choices and to enjoy or suffer through their natural consequences. I wanted you to know that God lives deep inside you and that you would discover God’s voice in the deepest yearnings of your heart. In the deep quiet voice within you, there you will find God.
You are your child’s first experience of the divine. In their young world you are all powerful. How you parent your children will forever color their experience of God.
-KARE
July, 2004
